Answer

Why Does the Possibility of Creating a Child Make Sex So Serious?

Why Does God Place Sexual Intimacy Within Marriage?

You may have heard sex described mainly as something private between two consenting adults. You may also wonder why pregnancy should matter if you are not trying to have a child. If two people love each other, why would marriage change the meaning of their sexual relationship?

These are reasonable questions. The answer begins with what sexual intimacy can do, not only with how it feels.

Sexual intercourse is an expression of affection, but it is also the physical union through which a child can be conceived. That possibility connects sex to marriage, family, responsibility, and the lifelong care of another person. God’s law of chastity makes more sense when those parts are considered together.

Sexual Intimacy Is Connected to the Creation of Life

In the Creation account, God places male and female, marriage, and children within the same pattern. After creating Adam and Eve, He commanded them to “be fruitful, and multiply” (Genesis 1:27–28).

This was more than a command to increase the population. It introduced Adam and Eve to one of the purposes of mortal life: using their bodies to bring children into the world and help them begin their own mortal experience.

Our bodies are part of God’s plan. Through them, we learn, serve, love, form covenants, and participate in the creation of children who are also sons and daughters of God. Sexual intercourse is powerful because it joins two people physically and can also result in a new person who will need care, protection, and a stable family.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to His plan. It also teaches that the powers of procreation are sacred and are to be used only within the covenant of marriage.

Marriage does not make every relationship safe or guarantee that every couple will stay together. But it is the covenant relationship God designed to surround sexual intimacy and the responsibilities that may follow it, including raising a child.

What This Can Look Like in Real Life

Jackie and Bobby Angel, a Christian married couple, talk about their decision to remain sexually abstinent before marriage in “Did Chastity Make Our Wedding Night Awkward?”.

They explain that waiting helped them see sex as more than physical pleasure or personal gratification. For them, sexual intimacy made sense within a marriage where love, commitment, and responsibility were already joined together.

Their experience will not be identical to everyone else’s. Marriage does not remove every awkward moment or solve every relationship problem. Their story does show how a couple may understand chastity: sex is not separate from the promises of marriage. It is one way husband and wife express the commitment they have already made.

Why Chastity Is About More Than Restriction

In “Personal Purity,” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught that sexual purity is connected to the power to create life. His teaching helps explain why sexual choices have greater consequences than many other private choices.

Sexual intercourse affects the two people involved, but it can also result in a child. That child may need care and support for many years. The child will also be affected by the relationship between the parents and by the decisions they make after the child is born.

This is one reason God connects sexual intimacy with marriage. Marriage is meant to create a committed relationship in which a mother and father can work together to care for their children.

This principle does not mean that children born outside marriage are less valuable. Every child is a beloved child of God. It also does not mean that every marriage provides a safe or stable home. It explains the family setting God intends to surround the creation and care of children.

Why This Teaching Can Be Hard to Understand

A common message today is that sex is simply a private activity between consenting adults. That idea includes something important: sexual relationships should never involve force, pressure, or abuse. Consent matters.

But consent does not explain everything about sexual intimacy. If sex is treated only as recreation, contraception can make pregnancy seem unrelated to the act. Since pregnancy is less likely, it may seem as though the possibility of creating a child no longer matters.

But reducing the chance of pregnancy does not change the nature of sexual intercourse. It remains the kind of physical union through which a child can be conceived. That is why the act carries responsibilities beyond the immediate relationship.

The culture often encourages people to focus on privacy, pleasure, and personal freedom while giving less attention to covenant, permanence, and the needs of children. Those concerns can gradually make God’s law seem unnecessary or restrictive.

A better question is not only, Do we love each other? It is also, What kind of commitment does this choice express, and what responsibilities could it create?

What Research Helps Us See

Economists Melissa Kearney and Phillip Levine have studied nonmarital childbearing and what researchers sometimes call the “marriage premium” for children. Their analysis found that the advantages associated with married parents were especially noticeable in later educational and economic outcomes for children of younger or less-educated mothers.

This research does not mean that every married family is healthy or that unmarried parents cannot raise loving, successful children. It does show that children’s needs continue long after conception and birth. Their well-being is affected by the stability, resources, and support available to them as they grow.

You can read their analysis in “The Economics of Nonmarital Childbearing and the ‘Marriage Premium for Children.’”

That helps explain why God connects sexual intimacy with marriage. Sexual intercourse can create a child whose needs will last for decades. Marriage is intended to provide a committed partnership prepared to meet those needs.

When Life Has Not Followed the Ideal

Some readers have experienced divorce, abuse, abandonment, infertility, single parenthood, or sexual choices they regret. Others were raised in homes where marriage did not provide safety or stability.

God knows the difference between circumstances people choose and circumstances they do not. The law of chastity is not a declaration that your life is ruined if your experience has not followed the ideal. It explains the kind of family relationships God is inviting His children to build.

Through Jesus Christ, people can repent, receive forgiveness, establish healthier boundaries, and move forward. Circumstances outside your control do not make you less loved by God or less able to receive His help.

Questions Worth Considering

• Where did I learn to think about sex mainly as pleasure, privacy, or personal freedom?
• How does the possibility of creating a child change the responsibilities connected to sexual intimacy?
• What would it look like for my choices about dating, sex, and marriage to reflect both love and covenant?

Jesus Christ can help you understand why sexual intimacy matters and give you strength to live according to that understanding. His teachings are meant to help you build relationships marked by love, faithfulness, responsibility, and hope.