Essay

Heirship, Grace, and Becoming

You may have read in The Family: A Proclamation to the World that your divine destiny is to become an “heir of eternal life” and wondered what that actually means. Does eternal life simply mean living forever? What exactly are you supposed to inherit? And if becoming like Heavenly Father is part of the answer, does that mean you somehow have to make yourself perfect?

Those are important questions. Let’s unpack them. Eternal life means much more than living forever. Because of Jesus Christ, everyone will be resurrected and receive immortality. Eternal life is the greater gift of living with God, becoming like Him, and receiving the kind of life He wants to give His children. You are invited into that life through Jesus Christ as you follow Him, repent, make and keep covenants, and gradually become more like Him.

What Does “Eternal Life” Actually Mean?

Shortly before His suffering in Gethsemane, Jesus prayed to His Father and explained what eternal life really is. He said, “This is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3).

That tells us something important. Eternal life is not simply existing forever. It is knowing Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, living in Their presence, and becoming more like Them.

The Church’s study guide on eternal life explains that eternal life includes living in God’s presence, becoming like Him, and continuing in an eternal family.

One simple way to think about the difference is this: immortality tells us how long we will live. Eternal life tells us what kind of life Heavenly Father is preparing us to receive.

That helps us better understand why Jesus taught, “Be ye therefore perfect” (Matthew 5:48). He was not asking ordinary people to somehow make themselves perfect through sheer effort. Modern revelation shows us where that perfection comes from. Doctrine and Covenants 76 describes those who receive celestial glory as being “made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant” (Doctrine and Covenants 76:50–70).

That phrase matters. You are not expected to perfect yourself. Becoming like Heavenly Father is possible because Jesus Christ can forgive you, change you, strengthen you, and keep helping you grow.

Drew’s Story: When Trying to Be Good Became Too Much

A young adult named Drew wanted to follow God and do what was right. But while preparing to serve a mission, that good desire gradually became tangled up with perfectionism. He began feeling that unless he was constantly pushing himself harder, he might somehow fall short of God’s blessings.

Watch Drew tell his story:

There is something important in Drew’s experience. Wanting to grow is good. Trying to follow Christ faithfully is good. But discipleship can become much heavier than Heavenly Father intended when you begin to believe that you have to prove your worth to Him or somehow earn His willingness to help you.

Why Does Scripture Call You an “Heir”?

Paul gives us another important part of the answer in Romans 8. He was teaching the Saints in Rome what it means to live by the Spirit and follow Jesus Christ.

He wrote that the Spirit “beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.” Then he added, “if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:16–17).

The word heir matters because it points to family.

An inheritance is different from a paycheck. You do not earn an inheritance from loving parents by collecting enough achievements or proving that you deserve to belong to them. The relationship comes first.

You are literally a spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents. Through Jesus Christ, you can also make covenants that bind you to Him and prepare you to receive everything Heavenly Father wants to give His faithful children. Doctrine and Covenants 76 describes that inheritance with the remarkable promise that “all things are theirs.”

Of course, your choices still matter. Faith, repentance, obedience, covenants, and discipleship are all part of becoming ready to receive what God offers. But eternal life is not something you manufacture through your own strength. Jesus Christ redeems you, changes you, and makes that future possible.

Your Identity Points Toward Your Future

The Family: A Proclamation to the World places this promise inside the larger story of who you are.

You lived before this life as a spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents. You came to earth to receive a body and gain mortal experience so that you could “progress toward perfection and ultimately realize [your] divine destiny as [an heir] of eternal life.”

Notice what that teaches about your identity. You were a child of God before you had a degree, career, relationship, calling, accomplishment, weakness, or mistake. Nothing you achieve creates that identity, and nothing you struggle with erases it. But knowing who you are is also meant to help you understand what Heavenly Father is helping you become.

Mortality gives you the opportunity to use agency, learn through experience, repent, make covenants, develop Christlike character, build family relationships, and become more like your Heavenly Parents through Jesus Christ.

Knowing you are a child of God is not only meant to reassure you that you have worth. It also gives direction to your life. Your identity tells you something about the future Heavenly Father is preparing you for.

Becoming Happens “Grace for Grace”

Elder David A. Bednar taught in “Exceeding Great and Precious Promises” that eternal life is “the ultimate exceeding great and precious promise.” He also helps us understand how we grow toward it.

We usually do not become like Christ all at once. Scripture teaches that even the Savior, during His mortal development, received “grace for grace.”

That gives us a much healthier way to think about spiritual growth.

You exercise faith. You repent when you need to. You keep your covenants. You listen to the Holy Ghost and keep trying to follow Christ. Then, over time, His grace works on you. He teaches you, strengthens you, forgives you, and changes things in you that you could not change by yourself.

Grace does not mean your choices do not matter. It means you are not trying to become like Christ without Christ. Jesus Christ gives you power to become more than you could ever become alone.

When “Becoming Perfect” Starts to Feel Like Never Failing

Young adult life can easily start to feel like one long list of things to measure: school, work, money, dating, fitness, appearance, Church service, and plans for the future. Social media can make that pressure even stronger because you are constantly seeing carefully selected pieces of other people’s lives.

Without realizing it, you can start bringing that same way of thinking into your relationship with God. You may begin to believe that a faithful disciple should never struggle, never fall behind, never have doubts, and always get everything right.

That can turn Christ’s invitation to become like Him into something exhausting.

One way Satan distorts this doctrine is by taking the true teaching that Heavenly Father wants you to become like Him and quietly removing Jesus Christ from the process. Once Christ is pushed to the side, every weakness begins to feel like evidence that you are failing instead of an opportunity to turn toward the Savior and receive His help.

But the Lord describes the process very differently. Those who receive eternal life are “made perfect through Jesus.”

You are expected to grow. You are not expected to do it without Him.

What Research Suggests About Perfectionism and Grace

Research among Latter-day Saints helps us see this same difference in everyday life.

In a review published by BYU Studies, Michael A. Goodman discussed research that distinguishes healthy striving from a more harmful form of perfectionism. Healthy striving includes wanting to grow, improve, and do good things. Harmful perfectionism is more closely connected with constantly feeling that you are falling short or believing that mistakes make you unacceptable.

One study of Latter-day Saint students found that experiencing God’s grace was connected with healthier forms of striving and lower levels of toxic perfectionism. A more legalistic view of religion was connected with greater anxiety, depression, and shame. (Read the research.)

Research does not prove revealed doctrine. But it can help us recognize why understanding grace matters so much. There is a real difference between wanting to become more like Christ and feeling that you must prove to God that you are already good enough.

What If My Life Does Not Look Like the Eternal Ideal Yet?

This promise can become especially important when your life does not look the way you thought it would by now.

You may be single when you expected to be married. You may be divorced or widowed. You may deeply want children and be facing infertility. You may experience same-sex attraction, carry regrets about past choices, or live with family circumstances you never chose.

Those circumstances do not erase your divine identity, and they do not cancel Heavenly Father’s promises.

Elder M. Russell Ballard reminded members that eternal life is not determined simply by present marital status. He repeated President Russell M. Nelson’s assurance that “no blessing will be withheld from His faithful Saints.” (Read Elder Ballard’s teaching.)

We do not know exactly when or how every promised blessing will come. But you do not lose eternal blessings because circumstances outside your control did not unfold the way you hoped.

And your becoming does not have to wait. You can keep covenants now. You can repent, serve, strengthen relationships, develop your gifts, learn to love more deeply, and become spiritually stronger. All of that growth is already preparing you for eternal life.

A Few Questions Worth Thinking About

• When I hear the command to become perfect, do I picture growing with Christ over time, or do I mostly think about everything I am doing wrong?
• What am I using to measure my worth right now—achievement, comparison, other people’s approval, or what God has revealed about who I am?
• What might change if I saw repentance and covenants as ways Christ is helping me become more like Him rather than ways I have to prove myself to God?

What Can You Do This Week?

Start by slowly reading Romans 8:14–18 and Doctrine and Covenants 76:50–70. Notice what those verses teach about being God’s child, receiving an inheritance, and being made perfect through Christ.

Then pray about one area where Heavenly Father wants you to grow. Instead of asking, How can I fix everything? try asking, What is the next thing You want me to work on with Christ? Then pay attention to the impressions that come and act on them.

Maybe you need to repent of something, repair a relationship, change a habit, spend more time in the temple, or simply become more consistent in keeping a covenant you have already made. Growth usually happens through faithful steps like these, not through fixing your whole life at once.

The sacrament can also help you remember how this works. You come each week because you still need Jesus Christ. You renew your covenant with Him, remember His sacrifice, receive His grace, and keep moving forward with Him.