Essay

Marriage and Family in the Resurrection

You may have heard some friends of other faiths explain that there will not be marriage in heaven because Jesus said people “neither marry, nor are given in marriage” in the Resurrection. Or maybe the question feels much more personal than that: What if I never get married in this life? What if I never have children? If marriage and family are really part of God’s plan, what happens to me if those things never happen here? Will I be single forever?

Those are important questions, especially when you are watching friends get engaged, younger siblings start families, or another year pass without your life looking the way you thought it would. The restored gospel gives a deeply hopeful answer. Marriage and family are not only for this life. They are part of God’s eternal plan.

So let’s unpack what all of this actually means for you today.

Will I Have Marriage and Children?

For a lot of young adults, this is the big underlying question.

Maybe you have prayed about it, gone on dates, tried to meet people, worked on growing spiritually, attended the temple, and watched people around you find someone while you are still waiting. At some point it is natural to wonder, What if this just never happens for me?

Here’s an explanation you may not have heard before that can make the doctrine much easier to understand:

An Unusually Direct Promise

Elder Clark’s explanation gives you a reason to trust that God’s promises are larger than what you can see in your life right now. You may not know when marriage or family will come, and you do not need to have every part of your future figured out today. You can keep moving toward Christ and trust Him with what has not happened yet.

If you sincerely want an eternal marriage but never have that opportunity during mortality, know that apostles today give an unusually direct promise: “Every true disciple of Jesus Christ, if it is his or her desire, will be eternally sealed to a righteous companion of his or her choosing throughout eternity, whether in this life or the next.”

In his April 2016 general conference message, “Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders among You,” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminded us that Heavenly Father wants to bless His children and that Jesus Christ will help us keep going while those blessings are still unfolding: “Keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever.”

Now, to understand why prophets can speak so confidently about marriage and family continuing into eternity, it helps to go back to what Jesus Himself taught about where marriage comes from and what God intended it to be.

Jesus Taught That Marriage Is Part of God’s Plan

When Jesus taught about marriage in Matthew 19, He took His listeners back to the Creation. He reminded them that God created humanity “male and female” and brought a man and a woman together as husband and wife. Then He taught, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Jesus was showing them where marriage comes from. The pattern did not begin with a culture, government, or human tradition. It began with God, with a man and a woman, and with the family He established at Creation.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches us that we lived with God before birth as His sons and daughters. We came to earth as male and female. Marriage between a man and a woman is part of His eternal plan, and through temple ordinances a husband and wife can be joined in a relationship that death does not end.

That is one of the beautiful truths the Restoration makes clear: marriage, gender, and family are not something we leave behind when mortality is over.

But Didn’t Jesus Say There Is No Marriage in Heaven?

This is where Matthew 22:23–30 can be confusing.

The Sadducees did not believe in the Resurrection, so they gave Jesus an exaggerated example of a woman who had been married seven times and asked which one would be her husband afterward. Jesus told them they misunderstood both the scriptures and the power of God. Restored revelation helps clarify His answer: mortal marriage does not automatically continue after death; eternal marriage requires God’s sealing authority and covenant.

That is why Doctrine and Covenants 132:19 says that when a man and woman are married by God’s word, sealed by His authority, and remain faithful to that covenant, their marriage can remain in force “through all eternity.” The same revelation connects that marriage with exaltation and a “continuation of the seeds forever and ever.”

Will Families Still Be Families?

Yes. That is one of the clearest promises of the Restoration.

The Family Proclamation says that God’s plan enables “family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave.” A man and woman who faithfully keep their sealing covenant can remain husband and wife eternally. Our identity as male or female is eternal, and the Lord has also connected exaltation with eternal posterity.

We do not know every detail of what everyday family life will look like after the Resurrection, and there is no need to fill in what God has not revealed. But the important parts are clear. Marriage does not disappear, and a family does not become meaningless. The relationships God has sealed are meant to continue.

What If I Never Have Children?

The same hope applies if the family you hoped for includes children.

Some people never have the opportunity to marry. Some marry and experience infertility. Some lose a spouse or a child. Some simply reach the end of mortal life without becoming a mother or father even though that desire has been carried in their heart for years.

Doctrine and Covenants 132 connects exaltation and eternal marriage with a “continuation of the seeds forever and ever.” Church teaching explains that this refers to families and posterity continuing throughout eternity.

We do not know enough to describe every detail of eternal parenthood, and it is wise not to speculate beyond revelation. What we can say confidently is that Heavenly Father will not withhold the eternal blessings of family from a faithful son or daughter because mortality did not provide the opportunity.

Watch for the Doubt and Discouragement That Can Come While You Wait

Once you understand what God has actually promised, you can also recognize one of the ways the adversary can distort this doctrine.

A righteous desire for marriage can slowly turn into a conclusion about your worth: Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe everyone else is progressing and I’m not. Maybe I missed my chance. Maybe God has forgotten me.

Those thoughts can feel especially persuasive because there is usually some evidence around you that seems to support them. Friends get engaged. Babies arrive. Dating disappointments pile up. You may be sitting through another family-centered Church lesson while quietly wondering where you fit into all of this.

The deception that the adversary wants you to believe comes from him telling you that waiting for a blessing becomes evidence that God has denied it, or when being unmarried begins to define how you see your worth and your relationship with Him.

Your work during this season is not simply to “be okay with being single.” You can want marriage very much. Your work is to keep that desire connected to faith in Jesus Christ instead of allowing disappointment to pull you away from Him.

What Research Shows

BYU researchers Laura Padilla-Walker, Madison Memmott-Elison, and Larry Nelson studied what helps young adults flourish during their twenties, and their research found that you do not have to reach marriage or other major adult milestones before you can have a meaningful, happy life. Young adults were more likely to flourish when they developed strong relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners and continued growing through education, service, work, and other meaningful parts of life. (BYU ScholarsArchive) For someone waiting for marriage, that matters: you can deeply want a spouse and family while still building close relationships, finding purpose, and experiencing real joy in the life God has given you right now.

A Few Questions Worth Thinking About

• When I feel discouraged about being single, what thoughts tend to follow? Do they help me trust Heavenly Father, or make me wonder if He has forgotten me?
• Am I starting to believe that because marriage has not happened yet, it may never happen?
• When I compare my life with friends who are getting married or having children, am I becoming discouraged about the good things God is doing in my life right now?
• Has waiting made me feel pressure to rush a relationship or let go of standards that I know matter?
• How would I approach this season differently if I really trusted the Lord’s promise that eternal marriage can come “in this life or the next”?