Essay

Explaining the Proclamation Across Disagreement

Maybe a friend asks what you believe about marriage, gender, sexuality, motherhood, fatherhood, or family, and you immediately wonder how to answer without sounding judgmental. Perhaps you are in a college classroom where almost everyone seems to see these questions differently, or someone you love lives differently from what The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches.

In moments like these, it helps to have a simple answer: We have a Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother who show us the pattern of marriage and family. God created us male and female. He knows what will bring His children lasting happiness. Our bodies have meaning and purpose. Marriage and family are part of His plan. And truth and love were always meant to be taught together.

You may still wonder, Am I almost alone in believing these things? Do other Christians believe the principles in the Family Proclamation too? And could knowing that many millions of other believers share these biblical convictions help me speak with greater confidence?

The good news is that many of the proclamation’s teachings about marriage, male and female, sexual morality, children, motherhood, fatherhood, and building a family centered on Christ grow directly out of truths taught in the Bible and are shared by millions of Christians around the world. Latter-day Saints have also received additional revelation about heavenly parents, premortal life, eternal identity, temple covenants, and sealing. The Family: A Proclamation to the World brings those truths together and helps us see how they fit within Heavenly Father’s plan for His children.

Knowing that can give you perspective. You do not have to invent your beliefs for yourself, and you do not have to choose between conviction and kindness. You can love people deeply, listen carefully, and still trust what God has revealed. And when it sometimes feels as though almost everyone around you believes differently, it can help to know that you are far from standing alone.

Peter Taught Christians How to Explain Their Beliefs

The Apostle Peter wrote to Christians living among people who did not necessarily understand or share their faith. He told them to “be ready always to give an answer” when someone asked about the hope within them—but to give that answer “with meekness and fear,” meaning humility and reverence (1 Peter 3:15).

Peter expected disciples to know what they believed. He did not tell them to become vague when disagreement appeared. But he cared about the spirit in which they answered.

The resurrected Savior taught the same principle to the Nephites. After correcting contention among His disciples, He warned that “he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me” (3 Nephi 11:28–30).

You can therefore be completely committed to revealed truth while refusing to make contention part of the way you share it.

Start With What the Family Proclamation Actually Teaches

The Family: A Proclamation to the World begins much earlier than the issues that usually generate disagreement.

It begins with God and His children. You are a “beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents” with a divine nature and destiny. You lived before mortality. Male and female are part of God’s eternal design. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained by Him. Children matter deeply to His plan, and sacred temple ordinances make it possible for family relationships to continue eternally.

Some of that knowledge comes specifically through the Restoration. But the Proclamation’s teachings about male and female Creation, marriage, sexual morality, children, and parental responsibility are deeply biblical. When Jesus was questioned about marriage, He took His listeners back to Creation: God created humanity “male and female” and joined husband and wife together (Matthew 19:4–6).

Many Christians across traditions still affirm those basic teachings. The Catholic Catechism, the Southern Baptist statement of faith, and other major Christian traditions teach marriage between a man and woman, sexual faithfulness, the importance of children, and serious parental responsibilities.

So when someone asks, “Why does your Church believe this?” you do not have to treat the Proclamation as though it appeared suddenly in response to modern controversy. Many of its central principles come from biblical truths Christians have taught for centuries. Restoration revelation then gives those truths a larger eternal setting.

Truth Is Something We Receive From God

That shared Christian foundation is why teachers from other Christian traditions sometimes express principles that sound very familiar.

In this THINQ Media message, Christian speaker Sadie Robertson Huff talks about the power of absolute truth and the importance of looking outside ourselves to God rather than treating truth as something each person creates.

Watch Sadie Robertson Huff, “The Power of Absolute Truth”:

Sadie is not Latter-day Saint, and that is useful to notice. Many Christians share the conviction that God’s word should shape what disciples believe about morality, marriage, sexuality, and family.

Be Clear Without Becoming Disagreeable

Then-Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught this balance plainly in “Loving Others and Living with Differences.”

He taught, “Even as we seek to be meek and to avoid contention, we must not compromise or dilute our commitment to the truths we understand.”

Kindness is therefore not the same as uncertainty. You can say plainly, *I really do believe God created us male and female, and as sons and daughters of Heavenly Parents. I believe marriage between a man and woman is part of His plan because children need both a mom and a dad. *

But he also taught, “We should love all people, be good listeners, and show concern for their sincere beliefs. Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable.”

That is the balance. Conviction remains, while contention does not have to enter the conversation.

Start by Listening

Suppose a friend says, “How can you believe the Family Proclamation?”

You may not yet know what they are actually asking. You could begin with, What part are you thinking about? or Is there something specific that feels difficult to you?

Perhaps the question is intellectual. But perhaps your friend experiences same-sex attraction, their parents divorced, they grew up without a father, they struggle with infertility, or they fear they will never marry. If you immediately launch into an explanation without understanding what is behind the question, you may answer something they never asked.

Listening first does not weaken truth. It helps you speak to a person rather than merely respond to a position.

Following Jesus Means Trusting What He Teaches

Christian teacher Priscilla Shirer makes a related point in this clip using Jesus’s teaching in Luke 9:23: discipleship means denying ourselves, taking up our cross, and following Him.

Here, she taught a principle that millions of Christians recognize: if Jesus Christ is Lord, following Him sometimes means trusting His teachings above our own.

That can give you greater confidence when a biblical teaching about marriage or sexuality is presented as though it were an unusual Latter-day Saint idea. There are some doctrinal differences among Christian churches, but trusting Jesus and scripture as authorities for how we live is basic Christian discipleship.

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Why the Way We Disagree Matters

Research on difficult conversations offers a useful practical insight. Scholars studying “conversational receptiveness” have found that people engage more constructively across disagreement when the other person communicates a genuine willingness to listen and consider what they are saying.

That does not mean listening guarantees agreement. Sometimes a good conversation ends with, I still disagree, but I understand better why you believe that.

That can still matter. The Holy Ghost does not need you to force the outcome.

What If This Is Personal for Someone I Love?

This is where Christlike communication matters most.

Maybe someone close to you experiences same-sex attraction. Perhaps a friend struggles with questions about gender, divorce, infertility, or a painful family background. Do not make that person’s life an example in your argument.

You can listen carefully to someone’s circumstances while still believing what God has revealed. God knows the difference between circumstances people did not choose and moral decisions made with agency. No faithful person will lose eternal blessings because circumstances outside his or her control prevented the ideal described in the Proclamation during mortality.

Jesus Christ can work powerfully within imperfect mortal circumstances while still teaching us what Heavenly Father intends His children ultimately to receive.

Elder Holland: It Is Worth Standing for What You Believe

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke directly to young people who may wonder whether standing openly for their beliefs is worth the social cost. In “The Cost—and Blessings—of Discipleship,” he acknowledged that discipleship sometimes means holding to truths others may ridicule or reject:

“You may wonder if it is worth it to take a courageous moral stand in high school or to go on a mission only to have your most cherished beliefs reviled or to strive against much in society that sometimes ridicules a life of religious devotion. Yes, it is worth it.“Be strong. Live the gospel faithfully even if others around you don’t live it at all. Defend your beliefs with courtesy and with compassion, but defend them. A long history of inspired voices, including those you will hear in this conference and the voice you just heard in the person of President Thomas S. Monson, point you toward the path of Christian discipleship. It is a strait path, and it is a narrow path without a great deal of latitude at some points, but it can be thrillingly and successfully traveled, ‘with … steadfastness in Christ, … a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.’ In courageously pursuing such a course, you will forge unshakable faith, you will find safety against ill winds that blow, even shafts in the whirlwind, and you will feel the rock-like strength of our Redeemer, upon whom if you build your unflagging discipleship, you cannot fall.”

Notice how Elder Holland keeps both responsibilities together: “Defend your beliefs with courtesy and with compassion, but defend them.”

A Few Questions Worth Thinking About

Do I understand the Family Proclamation well enough to explain the biblical and restored truth behind its teachings?

How might it help me speak with greater confidence to know that millions of other Christians also hold biblical convictions about marriage, sexual morality, children, and family?

What Can You Do This Week?

Read the Family Proclamation alongside Genesis 1:27–28 and Matthew 19:4–6. Notice which teachings are plainly biblical and which truths become clearer through Restoration revelation.

Then practice answering one sincere question: Why do you believe this? Try to explain one teaching naturally in two or three sentences. Pray for the person you may someday speak with—not merely for the perfect response, but for genuine love and the guidance of the Holy Ghost.

And when you need courage to stand for something that feels increasingly unpopular, listen to Elder Holland’s counsel on faithful discipleship:

You do not need to enter these conversations embarrassed by revealed doctrine or believing you are standing by yourself. Millions of Christians around the world are also trying to build their lives around biblical teachings about marriage, sexual morality, children, and family. The Restoration gives you additional light about where you came from, who you are, what families are ultimately for, and how Jesus Christ makes eternal family life possible.

As you understand those truths more deeply, you can speak about them with greater confidence and greater charity. Jesus Christ can help you become the kind of disciple Peter described—ready to explain the hope within you, while doing it with the humility and love that help another person see not only what you believe, but whom you are trying to follow.