Answer

Will Having Children Make Me Less Happy?

Will Having Children Make My Life Better?

You may want children and still feel unsure about what parenthood would require. You may think about losing sleep, having less free time, paying for childcare, or having fewer opportunities to travel and pursue personal goals.

Those concerns are real. Having children changes how you use your time, money, energy, and attention.

But the question is not only whether parenthood will make life harder. It is also whether it can make your life more meaningful, joyful, and worthwhile. The gospel and research on family life both suggest that it can.

Children Are a Gift From God

Psalm 127 describes children as “an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). The psalm presents children as a blessing from God, not simply as another expense or responsibility.

That does not mean parenting is easy. It means the work of raising children has value beyond the work itself. A child is not only someone who needs your time and money. A child is a person you have the opportunity to love, teach, protect, and help prepare for life.

Parenthood also gives you experiences that are difficult to gain in other ways. It teaches you to be patient when you are tired, responsible when you would rather be free, and generous when someone else’s needs come first.

Why Parenthood Matters in God’s Plan

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches that “each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents” and that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

The proclamation also teaches:

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”

Parents help provide a child with a body, a home, daily care, instruction, and opportunities to learn about Jesus Christ. Motherhood and fatherhood involve sacrifice, but they also allow parents to participate in God’s work and learn to love in a deeper and more consistent way.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson explained in “Why Marriage, Why Family” that a family founded on the marriage of a man and a woman provides a setting where children can be born, nurtured, and prepared for eternal life.

This does not mean that every family will look the same or that every parent will experience parenthood in the same way. Some people face infertility, single parenthood, divorce, or other circumstances they did not choose. It does mean that children and parenthood have an important place in God’s plan.

Why Parenthood Can Be Hard to Imagine

Many messages around you connect happiness with freedom, flexibility, career success, travel, and personal choice. Those things can be good. But if a good life is defined mainly as keeping every option open, children can begin to look like obstacles.

The sacrifices of parenthood are easy to see. The relationship, growth, and purpose that come from raising a child are harder to measure. Because of that, people may assume that fewer responsibilities will automatically lead to a happier life.

Parenthood can limit some choices. It also gives you relationships and responsibilities that you could not have in the same way otherwise. It can help you become more patient, dependable, generous, and willing to put someone else’s needs ahead of your own.

What Research Helps Us See

In a 2025 survey of 3,000 U.S. women ages 25–55, Jean Twenge, Jenet Erickson, Wendy Wang, and Brad Wilcox found that married mothers were more likely to report being “very happy” than unmarried women or women without children. The researchers also considered factors such as age, income, and education.

This is a correlation, not a guarantee. Having children does not automatically make someone happy, and many parents experience stress, loneliness, and financial pressure. Still, the findings challenge the assumption that fewer responsibilities always produce a happier life.

Parenthood can be demanding and still be deeply satisfying. Some people find greater happiness through relationships that require them to give more of themselves.

Questions Worth Considering

• Have I mostly heard parenthood described in terms of what I would lose?
• Who or what has shaped my ideas about what a happy life looks like?
• Could some of the meaning and joy of parenthood come through the responsibilities it requires?

You might think about talking with a family you respect. You could ask them about both the difficult parts of parenting and the parts they value most.