Answer

How Do I Trust That God Has a Plan for Marriage for Me?

You may be praying about marriage and wondering how much you should do yourself. If Heavenly Father knows the right timing, should you mostly wait for Him to bring the right person into your life? It helps to look at the way God normally works with His children. He guides us, but He also expects us to choose, act, learn, and sometimes take reasonable risks.

Eternal Truths

God does not make every decision for you. The Lord told the early Saints that they should not need to be “compelled in all things.” Instead, they were to be “anxiously engaged in a good cause” and do many things “of their own free will” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:26–28). That principle applies to many parts of adult life, including dating.

You can trust God and still take initiative. You can pray for guidance and also meet people, accept invitations, ask someone on a date, tell friends you are open to being introduced, or use appropriate dating tools. You do not need a special spiritual prompting before every ordinary step in getting to know someone.

Some parts of dating are simply outside your control. You cannot create mutual interest, guarantee a relationship, or know in advance exactly how things will turn out. Trusting God means doing what you reasonably can while allowing other people their agency and leaving the outcome with Him.

What Can Make This Confusing?

Waiting can sometimes feel safer and even more spiritual because taking initiative involves the possibility of rejection. Fear of making the wrong choice can also make you feel that you should not move until you have complete certainty. God rarely gives that kind of certainty before every decision.

What Research Shows

One study looked at the actual messages of 105 online daters and then followed what happened when they met in person. Relationships developed through ordinary behaviors such as beginning conversations, finding common ground, sharing information, and eventually meeting face-to-face. It was a small study, but it illustrates a simple point: relationships generally require real interaction to develop (study).

Questions to Think About

• Am I trusting God, or waiting until dating feels completely safe?
• What part of this situation is actually mine to act on?
• Is there a reasonable step I have been avoiding?

What You Can Do

Take one manageable step this week. Ask someone out, accept an invitation, go to something social, update a dating profile, or ask a trusted friend if they know someone you might enjoy meeting.

Jesus Christ can give you courage to act without making you responsible for everything that happens afterward.