Answer

Can I Love Someone Who Identifies as LGBT and Still Stand for What Christ Taught?

How Can I Love Someone and Remain Faithful to the Church?

If someone you love tells you they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, you may not know what to say next. You may be afraid of hurting them, but also afraid that saying the wrong thing—or saying nothing—means you are compromising what you believe. You may wonder whether the relationship can remain close, whether honesty will create distance, or whether faithfulness to the Church requires you to step back.

These are understandable questions. They are especially personal when the person is your child, sibling, friend, or someone who has trusted you with something deeply important.

The answer begins here: You do not have to choose between loving someone and being faithful to Jesus Christ. You may need to learn how to do both more carefully than you have before.

The Church teaches that experiencing same-sex attraction is not a sin. It also teaches that sexual relations are reserved for a man and a woman who are married and completely loyal to each other. The Church teaches that people who experience same-sex attraction or identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual can make and keep covenants with God and fully participate in the Church as they strive to live the law of chastity. These teachings are explained in “Same-Sex Attraction”.

None of this makes a person less worthy of love, belonging, service, or spiritual gifts.

Jesus Christ Shows Us How Truth and Love Belong Together

John described Jesus Christ as being “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). That short phrase tells us something important about the Savior. His compassion never required Him to pretend that truth did not matter. His commitment to truth never made Him careless with people.

That is the pattern we are trying to follow.

You do not become more loving by abandoning what God has revealed. But you also do not become more faithful by becoming cold, suspicious, or harsh. A person is never merely a position, a label, a temptation, or a disagreement. The person in front of you is a beloved child of God.

This is why love may require more than either easy acceptance or abrupt rejection. It may require patience, honesty, humility, prayer, and a willingness to keep showing up.

What the Family Proclamation Helps Us Understand

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to His plan. It also teaches that every person has a sacred responsibility to care for family members and others.

The proclamation gives us a larger picture of what God has revealed about identity, marriage, sexuality, parenthood, and family. It is not a license to use doctrine as a weapon. It is a framework for understanding the kind of relationships God is helping His children build.

Mormon taught that charity is “the pure love of Christ” (Moroni 7:45–48). That kind of love is not sentimental or dishonest. It is patient and kind, but it is also willing to live by truth. It sees the whole person and refuses to treat someone as a problem that needs to be solved.

Becket Cook’s Story

In a first-person video, Becket Cook talks about his experience with sexuality, faith, and discipleship.

His story is not a formula for what every person will experience. People’s lives are different. Some experience same-sex attraction throughout their lives. Some describe changes in how they understand their attractions or identity. Some remain single. Some marry. Some leave the Church, while others remain faithful members.

What Becket’s story makes clear is that these questions are not merely theoretical. They involve real people trying to make sense of their experiences, their faith, their hopes, and their relationship with God.

Love Does Not Require Complete Agreement

President Dallin H. Oaks explained this relationship between love for God and love for people in “Two Great Commandments.” We are commanded to love God and to love our neighbors. We do not get to discard one commandment in order to keep the other.

That may sound straightforward, but living it can be complicated. You may care deeply about someone and still believe that some choices are contrary to God’s law. You may listen to someone’s experience without reaching the same conclusions. You may set a boundary around what you will participate in without ending the relationship.

You might eventually say something like:

“I love you, and I am grateful you trusted me. I am still learning, but I do not want you to think that my love for you depends on having every answer right now. I also want to be honest about what I believe and how I am trying to follow Jesus Christ.”

That conversation may not solve everything. It may not even go perfectly. But honesty offered with humility is very different from rejection.

Why This Can Become So Difficult

One message in the culture says that if you do not agree with someone’s identity or choices, you must not truly love them. Another message, sometimes heard within religious communities, suggests that being faithful means keeping emotional distance from anyone who does not live according to Church teachings.

Neither message gives the whole picture.

A relationship can include love and disagreement. It can include closeness and appropriate boundaries. It can include sincere questions without turning every conversation into an argument.

Satan can use fear and shame in either direction. He may tempt you to see a loved one as a threat to your beliefs. Or he may persuade you that obedience to God proves you do not care about people. He can also use shame to make someone feel that there is no place for them in the Church or in the family.

Jesus Christ offers a better way. He teaches us to be honest without being cruel, compassionate without being confused, and courageous without becoming self-righteous.

What Research Helps Us See

Research does not establish doctrine, but it can help us recognize what strengthens relationships.

In “The Ties That Bind,” Jason S. Carroll, W. Bradford Wilcox, and Laurie DeRose examined family life across eleven countries. They found that couples who shared an active religious life generally reported stronger relationship quality and greater sexual satisfaction than less religious or secular couples. They also noted that religious communities need to actively care for families who are struggling.

That matters here because religious conviction should not make a family member feel disposable. Faith is most powerful in family life when it is expressed through dependable love, service, sacrifice, and support. A family can remain committed to its beliefs while also becoming a place where people know they will be treated with dignity.

If This Touches Your Own Life

You may have personal questions or painful family experiences that make this subject especially complicated. You may be trying to respond to someone you love while also sorting through your own feelings, beliefs, or fears.

God understands the difference between circumstances people did not choose, feelings they experience, choices they make, and burdens they carry. He is perfectly just and perfectly merciful. Jesus Christ knows each person completely, and He can guide both individuals and families through circumstances that are not simple.

Your responsibility is not to control another person’s life. It is to decide how you will follow Christ in your own life.

Questions Worth Considering

• Have I begun to assume that love requires agreement, or that faithfulness requires distance?
• Would this person experience me as someone they could safely call when life became difficult?
• How can I speak honestly about my beliefs while becoming more patient, charitable, and Christlike?

Everything won’t be solved in one conversation. Jesus Christ can teach you how to remain faithful without becoming hard-hearted and how to love people without abandoning truth. As you follow Him, you can become someone others can trust—and you can help build relationships marked by honesty, courage, charity, and hope.