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Marriage & Family
Marriage between man and woman is ordained of God, and the family is central to His plan.
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We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, …
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Apostles
He called unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles.
Ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; and are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone.
He gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; … for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, … that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine.
Be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour.
By revelation he made known unto me the mystery … as it is now revealed unto his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit.
When [the book] proceeded forth from the mouth of a Jew it contained the fulness of the gospel of the Lord, of whom the twelve apostles bear record; and they bear record according to the truth which is in the Lamb of God.
Joseph Smith, Jun., … was called of God, and ordained an apostle of Jesus Christ, to be the first elder of this church.
There shall be a record kept among you; and in it thou shalt be called a seer, a translator, a prophet, an apostle of Jesus Christ, an elder of the church through the will of God the Father, and the grace of your Lord Jesus Christ.
Peter, and James, and John … I have sent unto you, by whom I have ordained you and confirmed you to be apostles, and especial witnesses of my name, and bear the keys of your ministry and of the same things which I revealed unto them; unto whom I have committed the keys of my kingdom, and a dispensation of the gospel for the last times.
We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
No decision emanates from the deliberations of the First Presidency and the Twelve without total unanimity among all concerned. At the outset in considering matters, there may be differences of opinion. These are to be expected. These men come from different backgrounds. They are men who think for themselves. But before a final decision is reached, there comes a unanimity of mind and voice.
The calling of 15 men to the holy apostleship provides great protection for us as members of the Church. Why? Because decisions of these leaders must be unanimous. Can you imagine how the Spirit needs to move upon 15 men to bring about unanimity? These 15 men have varied educational and professional backgrounds, with differing opinions about many things. Trust me! These 15 men—prophets, seers, and revelators—know what the will of the Lord is when unanimity is reached! They are committed to see that the Lord’s will truly will be done. The Lord’s Prayer provides the pattern for each of these 15 men when they pray: “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
When the original Twelve were called in this dispensation, they were told that their appointment was “calculated to create for you an affection for each other, stronger than death.” We already have such affection for you, Brethren, for your wives, and for your families.
Let me also observe that none of the Twelve are shrinking violets. We each have strong personalities. So when we are unified in a decision, you can rest assured that we have counseled together and come to that decision after much prayer and thoughtful discussion.
Without hesitation [apostles] respond to every call. They are true disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. I add by way of personal testimony that during the twenty years I served as a member of the Council of the Twelve and during the nearly thirteen years that I have served in the First Presidency, there has never been a major action taken where this procedure was not observed. I have seen differences of opinion presented in these deliberations. Out of this very process of men speaking their minds has come a sifting and winnowing of ideas and concepts. But I have never observed serious discord or personal enmity among my Brethren. I have, rather, observed a beautiful and remarkable thing—the coming together, under the directing influence of the Holy Spirit and under the power of revelation, of divergent views until there is total harmony and full agreement. Only then is implementation made.
That, I testify, represents the spirit of revelation manifested again and again in directing this the Lord’s work. I know of no other governing body of any kind of which this might be said. This procedure obtains even in the absence of the President of the Church.
I hasten to add that the Brethren would not be inclined to do anything which they feel would be out of harmony with the attitude, feelings, and position of their beloved leader, the prophet of the Lord.
I have given the following counsel to Church members—those who have committed themselves by upraised hands to sustain their church leaders: Criticism is particularly objectionable when it is directed toward Church authorities, general or local. Jude condemns those who ‘speak evil of dignities.’ (Jude 1:8.) Evil speaking of the Lord’s anointed is in a class by itself. It is one thing to depreciate a person who exercises corporate power or even government power. It is quite another thing to criticize or depreciate a person for the performance of an office to which he or she has been called of God. … When we say anything bad about the leaders of the Church, whether true or false, we tend to impair their influence and their usefulness and are thus working against the Lord and His cause.
The need for prophetic teachers who know the revealed word of God and who speak it directly and without apology is as important in our day as it has ever been. … We sustain 15 men not only as prophets and revelators but as seers also. The presence of seers among us is not much spoken of, yet the ability to see beyond the present lends power and authority to apostolic testimony and teaching. … Our sustaining support of prophets, seers, and revelators is not in the upraised hand alone, but more so in our courage, testimony, and faith to listen to, heed, and follow them.
But I ask myself, if this is so clear, why is it so difficult? There may be many answers to this, but I think, in reality, there is only one. Most of the difficulty can be traced to our desire to be more acceptable to the world than to God.
The teachings of a living prophet are often contrary to the trends of the world. We, as Latter-day Saints must understand that there is an expanding gulf between the standards of the world and those of the gospel and kingdom of God, and that living prophets will always teach the standards of God. As much as we may want the gospel to accommodate to the world, it can’t, it won’t, it never has, and it never will. Ensign
First Presidency
The duty of the President of the office of the High Priesthood is to preside over the whole church, and to be like unto Moses—… to be a seer, a revelator, a translator, and a prophet, having all the gifts of God which he bestows upon the head of the church.
Joseph Smith … I did call upon by mine angels, my ministering servants, and by mine own voice out of the heavens, to bring forth my work.
Of the Melchizedek Priesthood, three Presiding High Priests, chosen by the body, appointed and ordained to that office, and upheld by the confidence, faith, and prayer of the church, form a quorum of the Presidency of the Church. The twelve traveling councilors are called to be the Twelve Apostles, or special witnesses of the name of Christ in all the world—thus differing from other officers in the church in the duties of their calling.
The long-standing doctrinal statements reaffirmed in [The Family: A Proclamation to the World] 23 years ago will not change.
With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of deception concerning standards and values, with so much of allurement and enticement to take on the slow stain of the world, we have felt to warn and forewarn. In furtherance of this we of the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles now issue a proclamation to the Church and to the world as a declaration and reaffirmation of standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets, seers, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout its history.
I testify that the proclamation on the family is a statement of eternal truth, the will of the Lord for His children who seek eternal life. It has been the basis of Church teaching and practice for the last 22 years and will continue so for the future. Consider it as such, teach it, live by it, and you will be blessed as you press forward toward eternal life.
Forty years ago, President Ezra Taft Benson taught that “every generation has its tests and its chance to stand and prove itself.” I believe our attitude toward and use of the family proclamation is one of those tests for this generation. I pray for all Latter-day Saints to stand firm in that test.
This declaration is not politically correct, but it is true, and we are responsible to teach and practice its truth. That obviously sets us against many assumptions and practices in today’s world.
A proclamation in the Church is a significant, major announcement. Very few of them have been issued from the beginning of the Church. They are significant; they are revelatory. At that time, the Brethren issued “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” It is scripture-like in its power. When you wonder why we are the way we are, … you can find the authority for that in this proclamation on the family. … You’ll find answers there—and they are the answers of the Church.
— President Boyd K. Packer, “Proclamation on the Family,” Worldwide Leadership Training Broadcast, 9 February 2008
source neededThe doctrine of the Church … is taught by all fifteen members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve. … True principles are taught frequently and by many. Our doctrine is not difficult to find.
It was no coincidence that this solemn declaration was issued precisely when the Lord’s prophet felt that, of all the subjects on his mind, unstable family life in the Church was his greatest concern. Later [President Hinckley] said that the greatest challenge facing both America and the rest of world “is the problem of the family, brought on by misguided parents and resulting in misguided children.”
The proclamation was not merely a collection of pro-family platitudes. It was a serious prophetic warning about a major international problem. And now, years later, the problem is getting worse, which shows just how prophetic the 1995 warning was.
Prophets
God … spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets.
Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.
I have also spoken by the prophets.
They, whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear … yet shall know that there hath been a prophet among them.
Hearken to the words of my servants the prophets, whom I sent unto you.
Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.
He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward.
By the Spirit are all things made known unto the prophets, which shall come upon the children of men according to the flesh.
Search the prophets, for many there be that testify of these things.
None of the prophets have written, nor prophesied, save they have spoken concerning this Christ.
They should teach nothing save it were the things which he had taught, and which had been spoken by the mouth of the holy prophets.
What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.
If we pick and choose what we accept in the proclamation, we cloud our eternal view, putting too much importance on our experience here and now. By prayerfully pondering the proclamation through the eye of faith, we better understand how the principles are beautifully connected, supporting one another, revealing our Father’s plan for His children.
Should we really be surprised when the Lord’s prophets declare His will and, for some, questions remain? Of course, some reject the voice of the prophets immediately, but others prayerfully ponder their honest questions—questions that will be settled with patience and an eye of faith. If the proclamation had been revealed in a different century, there would still have been questions, just different questions than those of today. One purpose of prophets is to help us in resolving sincere questions.
Prior to being the President of the Church, President Russell M. Nelson said: “Prophets see ahead. They see the harrowing dangers the adversary has placed or will yet place in our path. Prophets also foresee the grand possibilities and privileges awaiting those who listen with the intent to obey.”
I testify to the truth and spiritual power of the united voice of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve.
The Church
Thus shall my church be called in the last days, even The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Lord [established] his church, in the last days for the restoration of his people, as he has spoken by the mouth of his prophets.
From this time forth I appoint unto him that he may be a prophet, and a seer, and a revelator unto my church.
It was the Savior Himself who said, “For thus shall my church be called in the last days, even The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”
Even earlier, in AD 34, our resurrected Lord gave similar instruction to members of His Church when He visited them in the Americas. At that time He said:
Ye shall call the church in my name. …
And how be it my church save it be called in my name? For if a church be called in Moses’ name then it be Moses’ church; or if it be called in the name of a man then it be the church of a man; but if it be called in my name then it is my church.” …
What’s in a name or, in this case, a nickname? When it comes to nicknames of the Church, such as the “LDS Church,” the “Mormon Church,” or the “Church of the Latter-day Saints,” the most important thing in those names is the absence of the Savior’s name. To remove the Lord’s name from the Lord’s Church is a major victory for Satan. When we discard the Savior’s name, we are subtly disregarding all that Jesus Christ did for us—even His Atonement. …
If we as a people and as individuals are to have access to the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ—to cleanse and heal us, to strengthen and magnify us, and ultimately to exalt us—we must clearly acknowledge Him as the source of that power. We can begin by calling His Church by the name He decreed.
Stories
Apostles
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Scholarship
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is led by 15 apostles, who are also regarded as prophets, seers and revelators. The man who has been an apostle the longest is the president of the Church, and by inspiration he selects two other apostles as counselors. These three function as the First Presidency, which is the highest governing body of the Church.
Members of the First Presidency are special witnesses of Jesus Christ, called to teach and testify of Him throughout the world. They travel frequently, addressing and encouraging large congregations of members and interested nonmembers, as well as meeting with local leaders.
When they are not traveling, members of the First Presidency counsel together and with other general Church leaders on matters affecting the worldwide Church, such as missionary work, temple building, spiritual and temporal welfare and much more.
Resources
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Open video in a new tab.mkv — download to view until migrated to YouTubeFor decades, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” has been a foundational, doctrinal declaration on God’s pattern of marriage and the family for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The bringing forth of this prophetic proclamation might even be considered a hinge poin…
This Prophetic Proclamation
The world has never needed a prophet of God more than we do now. With increased feelings of urgency, we look to President Russell M. Nelson to learn how to navigate this fast-changing world we suddenly find ourselves in. So what is he saying right now? What is he asking us to do—right now? In
A Message of Urgency from President Russell M. Nelson
If you ever feel confused about where to get answers in troubled times, you are not alone and you are not the first.
Urgency for Clarity in the Confusion source needed
The Book of Mormon‘s promise to all of us who are living in the last days and seeing prophesies being fulfilled is that “the righteous need not fear,” for the Lord “will preserve the righteous by his power.” (1 Ne.
We Get Clarity and are Protected as We Follow the Prophet source needed
… solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God …
Read this line in context →Scriptures
Marriage
God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. … [So] made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. … Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
There is no fullness of joy in the next life without a family unit, including a husband and wife, and posterity.
Human intimacy is reserved for a married couple because it is the ultimate symbol of total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God.
The future of marriage and of countless human lives will be determined by your willingness to bear solemn witness of the Lord and live according to His gospel. … And one of the more demanding opportunities of our time is to stand up for the truth regarding the sacred nature of marriage. Our message is shaped by divine doctrine, canonized in the Bible:
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
And God blessed them, and . . . said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.13
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.
God is the Father of all men and women. They are His children. It was He who ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. It was not created by think tanks or by popular vote or by oft-quoted bloggers or by pundits. It was not created by lobbyists. Marriage was created by God!
In the premortal world, Lucifer rebelled against God and His plan, and his opposition only grows in intensity. He fights to discourage marriage and the formation of families, and where marriages and families are formed, he does what he can to disrupt them.
Many in our culture could not long resist the call to redefine marriage from the union of man and woman to the union of any two people, regardless of gender. After all, if marriage is little more than a vehicle for advancing personal autonomy and individual rights—rather than a sacred and enduring union between man and woman centered on self-sacrifice and raising a family—then it becomes very hard to deny marriage—any type of marriage—to any couple or group of people that seek it.
Why, the argument goes, should we limit this efficient vehicle of personal rights and individual satisfaction to only a select few? If the ultimate aim is the highest form of self-satisfaction, why should not marriage be open to all in whatever form will most quickly and easily bring that result? Having lost the predicate upon which marriage has always been based, many find it difficult to dispute the conclusion.
But this skewed conception of marriage has serious personal and social consequences.
Marriage Ordained of God
Adam and his wife … heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, … And unto Adam [God] said, … Thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife. … And Adam called his wife’s name Eve. … Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins.
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
He that giveth her in marriage doeth well.
They were married, and given in marriage, and were blessed according to the multitude of the promises which the Lord had made unto them.
I, Nephi, took one of the daughters of Ishmael to wife; and also, my brethren took of the daughters of Ishmael to wife; and also Zoram took the eldest daughter of Ishmael to wife. And thus my father had fulfilled all the commandments of the Lord which had been given unto him. And also, I, Nephi, had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly.
Whoso forbiddeth to marry is not ordained of God, for marriage is ordained of God unto man. Wherefore, it is lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh.
If a man marry a wife by my word, … and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed … by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood.
Marriage was intended by God “to mean the complete merger of a man and a woman—their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything … to be ‘one flesh’ in their life together.” We cannot achieve the kind of life our Heavenly Father enjoys by ourselves or without a complete commitment to fidelity within a marriage to our husband or wife according to God’s plan.
A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God’s plan to thrive—the setting for the birth of children, who come in purity and innocence from God, and the environment for the learning and preparation they will need for a successful mortal life and eternal life in the world to come. A critical mass of families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish. That is why communities and nations generally have encouraged and protected marriage and the family as privileged institutions. It has never been just about the love and happiness of adults.
Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God” and “is essential to [God’s] eternal plan.” This divinely designed pattern of marriage is neither an experiment nor a sociological innovation. Rather, it is a relationship “central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” …
[The] commandment for husbands and wives to “cleave” to each other reflects an eternal reality: men and women complement and complete each other in unique ways that enable them individually and as a couple to fulfill their divine potential.
Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other.” Thus, by divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward redemption and enduring joy.
Let me give you an example of a plain and simple doctrine that our students need to learn far more deeply. Over the last seven years, BYU–Idaho has required a course on the family as part of their Foundations program. (Such a course is part of the new Cornerstone series required of all institute, college, and university students in the Church Educational System.) Because all BYU–Idaho students take this course, the faculty have had a window into what is in the minds and hearts of the students about the doctrine of marriage as presented in the proclamation on the family.
What the teachers have found has been unsettling. Many students, perhaps 40 to 50 percent, have at best an incomplete and at worst a false understanding of this most crucial doctrine. These are good, active Latter-day Saint youth who have graduated from seminary and who have not sufficiently learned the doctrine of marriage either at home or in seminary or in Sunday School or in their Young Women or priesthood quorum classes and, in some cases, not even on their missions.
The students not only need a better knowledge of the doctrine of marriage, they need to understand it in their hearts. They need a spiritual witness of its truth, and they need to act on that witness in the way they prepare now to be husbands or wives and mothers or fathers in an eternal family.
They also need to know how to talk about the doctrine of marriage with their friends and with others who may not share their beliefs. And they need to grow in their capacity to discern between truth and error. They need increased faith in Jesus Christ, and they need increased hope in Him. This is what the rising generation needs.
God instituted marriage in the beginning. He made man in his own image and likeness, male and female, and in their creation it was designed that they should be united together in sacred bonds of marriage, and one is not perfect without the other.
Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations.
Same-sex Marriage
Social and political pressures to change marriage laws are resulting in practices contrary to God’s will regarding the eternal nature and purposes of marriage. Man simply cannot make moral what God has declared to be immoral. Sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God. Brothers and sisters, undergirded by incontrovertible truth, proclaim your love for God! Proclaim your love for all human beings “with malice toward none, with charity for all. ”They as children of God are our brothers and sisters. We value their rights and feelings. But we cannot condone efforts to change divine doctrine. It is not for man to change.
While God’s commandments forbid all unchaste behavior and reaffirm the importance of marriage between a man and a woman, the Church and its faithful members should reach out with understanding and respect to individuals who are attracted to those of the same sex or whose sexual orientation or gender identity is inconsistent with their sex at birth,” President Oaks taught. “We do not know why same-sex attraction and confusion about sexual identity occur,” he continued. “They are among the challenges that persons can experience in mortality, which is only a tiny fraction of our eternal existence.
President Oaks spoke of three fundamental doctrinal truths that God has revealed:
First, … that God created ‘male and female,’” and that this “binary creation is essential to the plan of salvation.
Second, modern revelation teaches that eternal life, the greatest gift of God to His children, is only possible through the creative powers inherent in the combination of male and female joined in an eternal marriage (see Doctrine and Covenants 132:19). That is why the law of chastity is so important.
Finally, the long-standing doctrinal statements reaffirmed in [The Family: A Proclamation to the World] 23 years ago will not change. They may be clarified as directed by inspiration.” For example, “the intended meaning of gender in the family proclamation and as used in Church statements and publications since that time is biological sex at birth.
When counseling with any members experiencing challenges related to their sexual orientation, Church leaders should affirm that God loves all His children, including those dealing with confusion about their sexual identity or other LGBT feelings,” President Oaks said. “Such members and their families have unique challenges. They should be offered hope and be ministered to as directed by the Spirit according to their true needs, remembering the admonition of Alma to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort (see Mosiah 18:9).
Because we love God and understand His great plan of salvation and the significance of His commandments, we manifest our love for our neighbors by helping them come unto Christ, repent, and keep His commandments. This is part of bearing one another’s burdens that they may be light.
Gratefully, the answer is that same-gender attraction did not exist in the pre-earth life and neither will it exist in the next life. It is a circumstance that for whatever reason or reasons seems to apply right now in mortality, in this nano-second of our eternal existence. The good news for somebody who is struggling with same-gender attraction is this: 1) It is that ‘I’m not stuck with it forever.’ It’s just now… 2) If I can keep myself worthy here, if I can be true to gospel commandments… Every blessing — including eternal marriage — is and will be mine in due course.
You will likely encounter increasing debate about the definition of marriage. Many of your neighbors, colleagues, and friends will have never heard logical and inspired truths about the importance of marriage as God Himself defined it. You will have many opportunities to strengthen understanding of the Lord’s side of that argument by the eloquence of your examples, both as individuals and as families.
Let’s consider the definition of marriage. In recent years, many countries, including the United States, have legalized same-sex marriage. As members of the Church, we respect the laws of the land and abide by them, including civil marriage. The truth is, however, that in the beginning—in the beginning—marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed His definition of marriage.
The plan of happiness requires the righteous union of male and female, man and woman, husband and wife. … A body patterned after the image of God was created for Adam, and he was introduced into the Garden. … We can remember that we are God’s sons and daughters, that He created us in His image, and that His plan prepares us for life eternal. If we obey His commandments, He will not withhold from us any of the blessings He has promised.
Stories
Marriage
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Open video in a new tab.mkv — download to view until migrated to YouTubeThis Gen Z panel of Evangelical young adults say they are “craving” absolute truth, discipleship, and community.
Young Adults: Gen Z ‘Craving Absolute Truth’, Clarity and Mentoring
Gen Z is craving absolute truth from their leaders, and they’re open to getting the truth straight-up. Sadie believes that having theological clarity will result in more grounded discipleship, because young people won’t be torn between living their faith with conviction and constantly having to adjust to the moving targets of moral relativism.
On Absolute Truth
Scholarship
Marriage
Apart from its procreative aspect, natural marriage is important for another reason: Men and women are different, not just in morphology (form) or physiognomy (appearance), but also neurologically and emotionally. They complement one another as persons, even as they complement one another as sexual partners … [it’s] born-out in hard science. …
Human biology and physiology also make it plain that men and women are created to mate and reproduce. Complementarity seems self-evidently biological; explanations of such things as heterosexual intercourse, conception, or birth only serve to vindicate and illustrate it.
Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as husband and wife to be father and mother to any children their union produces. It is based on the anthropological truth that men and women are different and complementary, the biological fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the social reality that children need both a mother and a father. …
In recent decades, marriage has been weakened by a revisionist view that is more about adults’ desires than children’s needs. This reduces marriage to a system to approve emotional bonds or distribute legal privileges. … Redefining marriage does not simply expand the existing understanding of marriage. It rejects … the norm of male–female sexual complementarity. … Marriage cannot do the work that society needs it to do if these norms are further weakened.”
Marriage Ordained of God
Compared with other forms of romantic relationships, marriage involves a higher level of commitment from partners and a stronger future orientation. Moreover, as an institution, marriage receives a great deal of support from religion, the legal system, and the wider community. For these reasons, marriage is likely to place a particularly prominent role in shaping people’s identities and sense of self. The institutional nature of marriage, therefore, combined with the long-term nature of marital bonds, may account for the especially favorable state of wellbeing among spouses. …
Even individuals in relatively unhappy marriages may benefit from the stability, commitment, and social status of marriage. And the long-term time horizon of marriage may provide people with the hope that their relationships will improve in the future. … After controlling for relationship happiness, married individuals continued to have the highest level of subjective well-being … [and] being married was associated with higher self-esteem, greater life satisfaction, greater happiness, and less distress.
Being married is associated with an average reduction of approximately 35 percent in the odds of crime compared to non-married states for the same man.
Marriage has economic implications. According to Pew Research, “married adults have made greater economic gains over the past four decades than unmarried adults.” In addition, children in single-parent households are more likely to live in poverty. But children in two-parent families around the world tend to have better educational outcomes than those living with only one parent or without a parent. Of course not all families are alike, and it takes mutual commitment and community support for even the best of them to work.
The share of people who thought it was important for a couple planning to spend the rest of their life together to actually get married fell from 73% in 2006 to 64% in 2013.
Resources
No other institution reliably connects two parents, and their money, talent, and time, to their children in the way that marriage does.
Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as husband and wife to be father and mother to any children their union produces. It is based on the anthropological truth that men and women are different and complementary, the biological fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the social reality that each child needs both a mother and a father.
Rutgers University sociologist David Popenoe explains:
We should disavow the notion that “mommies can make good daddies,” just as we should disavow the popular notion…that “daddies can make good mommies.”… The two sexes are different to the core, and each is necessary—culturally and biologically—for the optimal development of a human being.
Sex makes babies, society needs babies, and children need mothers and fathers.” Connecting sex, babies, and moms and dads is the social function of marriage and helps explain why the government rightly recognizes and addresses this aspect of our social lives. As Maggie Gallagher explains:
The critical public or “civil” task of marriage is to regulate sexual relationships between men and women in order to reduce the likelihood that children (and their mothers, and society) will face the burdens of fatherlessness, and increase the likelihood that there will be a next generation that will be raised by their mothers and fathers in one family, where both parents are committed to each other and to their children.
The true great goods of marriage … are inextricably bound together such that the complementarity of husband and wife is of the very essence of marital communion. Sexual relations outside the marital bond between husband and wife are contrary not only to the will of God but to the good of man. Indeed, they are contrary to the will of God precisely because they are against the good of man.
Decades of social science, including the latest studies using large samples and robust research methods, show that children tend to do best when raised by a mother and a father. … Marriage is a uniquely comprehensive union. It involves a union of hearts and minds, but also—and distinctively—a bodily union made possible by sexual complementarity. As the act by which a husband and wife make marital love also makes new life. … In short, marriage unites a man and a woman holistically—emotionally and bodily, in acts of conjugal love and in the children such love brings forth—for the whole of life.
What is unique about marriage is that it truly is a comprehensive sharing of life, a sharing founded on the bodily union made uniquely possible by the sexual complementarity of man and woman … to bind themselves to each other in pledges of permanence, monogamy, and fidelity.
Redefining marriage further disconnect[s] childbearing from marriage. That hurt[s] children, especially the most vulnerable. It den[ies] as a matter of policy the ideal that children need a mother and a father. Traditional marriage laws reinforce the idea that a married mother and father is the most appropriate environment for rearing children, as the best available social science suggests.
Recognizing same-sex relationships as marriages … legally abolish[es] that ideal. It den[ies] the significance of both mothering and fathering to children: that boys and girls tend to benefit from fathers and mothers in different ways.
The ‘haves’ are generally those in stable marriages. The ‘have nots’ are generally those who live outside of marriage, especially with children. So vast is the difference, one is tempted to replace the traditional notion of social class with the more descriptive term marriage class.
… and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
Read this line in context →Scriptures
God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.
The Lord had said unto Abram, … I will make of thee a great nation, … and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.
In thy seed after thee (that is to say, the literal seed, or the seed of the body) shall all the families of the earth be blessed, even with the blessings of the Gospel, which are the blessings of salvation, even of life eternal.
I [will] be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people.
He hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, … having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.
I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.
As I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.
In the celestial glory, … in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; and if he does not, he cannot obtain it. … He cannot have an increase.
If ye abide in my covenant, … [it] shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass … to their exaltation and glory, … which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever. … Except ye abide my law ye cannot attain to this glory. … Whatsoever you seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven.
Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.
Enoch looked; and from Noah, he beheld all the families of the earth.
Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us. … There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. … We of all people, brothers and sisters, should not be taken in by the specious arguments that the family unit is somehow tied to a particular phase of development a moral society is going through. We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal.
Though earthly families are far from perfect, they give God’s children the best chance to be welcomed to the world with the only love on earth that comes close to what we felt in heaven—parental love. Families are also the best way to preserve and pass on moral virtues and true principles that are most likely to lead us back to God’s presence.
Even if these blessings of identity and purpose seem distant, they are not any less real. In God’s eternal plan, there is an eternal companion for every one of you, if you are faithful. You may not know yet who that person is. It may be some time before you meet that person, but your beloved companion is a real person who will one day be sealed to you forever. And every one of you has children that will bless your life. You may not yet know who they all are, but they are real people living in the pre-mortal realm preparing to come into your family. You are husbands and wives, mothers and fathers in God’s eternal plan. That is who you really are.
The Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection. The plan of happiness, also called the plan of salvation, was a plan created for families. The rising generation need to understand that the main pillars of our theology are centered in the family.
When a man and a woman enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage in the holy temple, the sealing power of God creates the bonds of a celestial marriage and the basis for an eternal family. … A husband and wife who make and keep the covenant of celestial marriage are prepared to bring children into the world in accordance with God’s eternal plan. … This is our eternal purpose: to create a celestial marriage and an eternal family.
Even if important parts of [the plan of happiness] aren’t fulfilled in your life now, they will be yours in the Lord’s due time. I also promise you that you can have significant growth and happiness now in your present circumstances. As a daughter or son of God, live whatever portion of the plan you can to the best of your ability.
Stories
Through my own personal experiences and my service in the Relief Society General Presidency, I have seen firsthand that many people in the world don’t live in perfect family situations. In fact, I’m not sure anyone does! The ideal described in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” reminds us of the loving eternal family that we belong to. It teaches that we are all part of the family of God and reminds us that, regardless of our earthly family situation, each of us is surrounded by brothers and sisters. Because we are all imperfect mortals, our family situations may never be perfect in this life. But our Savior can provide us with healing. …
Our heavenly parents love us, their children, and our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. That means that He has a plan for you. Please keep moving toward Him in faith. Help your eternal family members along the way back to Him. He will share hope and healing along your journey. And one day, each of us will have the chance to return to a perfect and eternal heavenly home.”
By Miranda Gaubatz, Utah, USA
My family was enough for His purposes
Sometimes people say things to me like, “Well, since you don’t have a family …”
The Family Proclamation: How Do I Fit In as a Single Adult?By Liz Stitt
Scholarship
The strength of our families has a significant impact on each and every American—from the amount of taxes we pay, to the growth of our economy, to the level of crime in our neighborhoods. Years of research has shown that the children of nurturing, intact families are more likely to have higher academic performance and greater emotional maturity as well as more financial stability as adults. They are less likely to commit crimes and abuse drugs and alcohol. From a societal standpoint, strong families led by nurturing mothers and fathers mean less poverty and dependence on the welfare system, fewer crimes, a healthier and better educated populace, and a stronger economy, among other benefits.
Resources
The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.
The family, a universal community based on the marital union of a man and a woman, is the bedrock of society, the strength of our nations, and the hope of humanity.
The difficult reality is that the natural family and sexual liberation are mutually exclusive. The more there is of the one, the less there will be of the other.
The widest possible protection and assistance should be accorded to the family, which is the natural and fundamental group unit of society.
For questions and answers about why marriage between a man and a woman are so important for children and society, visit www.discussingmarriage.org