Essay

Repentance and Healing After an Abortion

If abortion is part of your past, you may know that something needs healing but have no idea where to begin. You may be wondering: Do I need to repent if the abortion happened years ago? Do I need to talk with my bishop? What if I was young, frightened, pressured, or did not understand then what I understand now? And what if I sincerely repent but still feel grief afterward?

Those are real questions, and they deserve real answers. Let’s talk them through.

Let’s start with the most important thing: this is not something you were meant to carry alone, and it is not beyond the Savior’s reach. Jesus Christ makes everything possible: you can repent, be forgiven, and become fully reconciled to God. The beautiful message is that you can seek forgiveness with “godly sorrow” and “full purpose of heart” can repent and be forgiven. (2 Corinthians 7:10; 3 Nephi 18:32).

How Does Christ Help?

Alma went to the people of Gideon to prepare them for the Savior’s coming, and he described the Atonement in unusually specific terms. Christ would go forth suffering “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind,” taking upon Himself the sicknesses and even the death of His people. Alma explained why: so that Christ would know “according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” Then, as a separate item, Alma added that the Savior would take upon Him the sins of His people, “that he might blot out their transgressions” (Alma 7:11-13).

Jesus taught something similar when He appeared to the Nephites. After instituting the sacrament, He explained that His disciples should continue ministering to someone who needed to repent because that person might “repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them” (3 Nephi 18:30–32). Christ was teaching about a real return to Him. Repentance includes recognizing sin and changing, but its direction is toward the Savior and the healing He offers.

Can Jesus Christ Really Forgive Something This Serious?

President Boyd K. Packer described a woman who came to him carrying that exact sorrow in “And a Little Child Shall Lead Them”:

“Long ago a woman tearfully told me that as a college student she had made a serious mistake with her boyfriend. He had arranged for an abortion. In due time they graduated and were married and had several other children. She told me how tormented she now was to look at her family, her beautiful children, and see in her mind the place, empty now, where that one child was missing. If this couple understands and applies the Atonement, they will know that those experiences and the pain connected with them can be erased. No pain will last forever. It is not easy, but life was never meant to be either easy or fair. Repentance and the lasting hope that forgiveness brings will always be worth the effort.”

Her abortion remained part of her history, but President Packer did not teach that she had to remain spiritually defined by it. He directed her toward repentance and the Atonement because Christ can forgive a person who sincerely turns back to Him. That is the same hope available to you.

Veronica’s Story: When Something She Had Carried for Years Came to the Surface

Veronica describes what happened when an abortion from years earlier became something she could no longer keep buried, and how turning to Jesus Christ has healed her:

What Research Adds

Research cannot tell you whether God will forgive you; that promise comes from Jesus Christ. But research can help us understand what repentance can look like in people’s actual lives.

In a peer-reviewed study of 218 people from highly religious Jewish, Christian, and Muslim families, researchers including BYU professors David C. Dollahite and Loren D. Marks examined why people repent, what helps them through repentance, and what they experience afterward. Participants described repentance as involving changes in their relationships with God and other people, and the researchers identified meaningful psychological and relational benefits while also recognizing that the process was not identical for everyone. (Read the study through BYU ScholarsArchive.)

That is useful here because repentance is more than continuing to feel bad about the past. It involves turning toward God, making needed changes, receiving His grace, and allowing your relationship with Him to become right again.

Where Do I Begin?

Repentance can feel overwhelming, but you do not have to do it alone:

1. Talk honestly with Heavenly Father. Begin by telling Him what happened and what you now understand about it. Godly sorrow is different from simply hating yourself. It is sorrow that turns you toward God and creates a desire to become reconciled to Him. The Savior’s invitation is still, “Come unto me” (3 Nephi 9:14).
2. Make an appointment with your bishop. You do not need a perfect explanation. You can simply say, “I had an abortion in my past, and I want help knowing how to repent.” The current General Handbook explains that bishops and stake presidents are meant to help people access “the redeeming power of Jesus Christ through repentance.” The circumstances of each person—including age, maturity, time that has passed, voluntary confession, and evidence of repentance—are considered individually.
3. Confess honestly and let your bishop guide the process. The Lord taught, “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:43). The Handbook instructs bishops to ask only what is necessary to understand the situation, not unnecessary or intrusive details. The purpose is not punishment but repentance and spiritual healing.
4. Follow through spiritually. Prayer, scripture study, Church attendance, service, and—when appropriate—the sacrament and temple worship are not ways of earning forgiveness. They help you draw closer to the Savior while repentance changes your heart.
5. Learn to receive forgiveness. This can sometimes be the hardest step. Repentance eventually requires believing what the Lord says about the repentant: “He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42).

Forgiveness May Come Before All the Grief Is Gone

Repentance and emotional healing are connected, but they are not always identical. You may receive forgiveness and still have painful memories or grief that takes longer to heal.

Elder Andersen put the promise simply: “Although we cannot change the past, God can heal the past.” Forgiveness comes through Christ’s atoning grace as we turn toward Him with a humble and repentant heart.

If you have carried this privately for years, your first step does not have to be complicated. Pray honestly today. Then contact your bishop and tell him you want help coming fully to Christ. You do not have to know how the entire road will unfold before you begin walking it.

Jesus Christ already knows what happened. Repentance is not finally telling Him something He did not know. It is allowing Him into the part of your life you have been trying to carry without Him.