Answer

Why Does the Proclamation Teach That Marriage Is Between a Man and a Woman?

This is the teaching most likely to put a young Latter-day Saint at odds with people they love. It helps to know why the Church holds it, rather than only that it does.

Because it is a pattern God established, not a custom the Church inherited. That distinction is the whole answer. If marriage between a man and a woman were simply how families have usually been organised, it could be reorganised. The Proclamation claims something different.

Eternal Truths

Jesus answered this question by going back to the creation. When the Pharisees asked Him about marriage, He did not cite custom or tradition. He pointed to the beginning, and to male and female (Matthew 19:3–6). That is where the Proclamation goes too.

The pattern is reflected in heaven. Latter-day Saints believe we have Heavenly Parents. If the family we came from is a Father and a Mother, then the family we are asked to build is a copy of something real rather than an arrangement invented on earth.

It is rooted in how children arrive. A mother and a father are how God brings His children into the world, and The Family: A Proclamation to the World ties marriage and the creation of life together in the same breath rather than treating them separately. Every other purpose of marriage sits on top of that one.

What Can Make This Confusing?

What this teaching does not say matters as much as what it does. It does not say a marriage that cannot have children is a lesser marriage. It does not say a single person is outside the plan. It does not say people who disagree are enemies. It says what marriage is. What follows from that in your own life, or in the life of someone you love, is a separate conversation and a longer one.

Questions to Think About

• Do I hold this as a pattern God revealed, or mainly as a position the Church took?
• Which parts of my discomfort are about the doctrine, and which are about someone I love?
• What have I assumed this teaching says that it does not actually say?

What You Can Do

Read Matthew 19:3–6 alongside the Proclamation’s second and seventh paragraphs this week and notice that they are making the same move. Then, if this is personal for someone in your life, spend the time on them rather than on the argument. The essay behind this answer works through all five threads.

Jesus Christ went back to the beginning when He was asked this, and He did it without losing a single person in the room.